spam
You all get these, but you usually don’t read them, so I thought I would share a choice piece from this e-mail that JOHNCREEK sent to me:
Dear Blessed One,
As you read through my message, I do not want you to feel pity or sorry for me, for I believe someday, somehow, we will all surely die, this is about mine, and a last wish.
At this point I think he secretly does want me to feel pity for him, but I probably won’t. In fact, of all the things he’s about to request of me, this is the only one I’ll oblige.
No one would call me “Blessed One” if he had done “thorough research” about me, as he states further down in the letter. He also accuses me of philanthropy, which is another red flag.
Do people actually fall for this? They must, but I can’t believe it. I picture some automated send program in a shack somewhere, constantly crawling the internet and sending these pre-made e-mails every time it finds a live address. In a chair behind the computer is the skeleton of the man whose brilliant scheme backfired. He died of starvation when no one sent their bank account numbers. But that computer will continue searching and sending, forever.
Then I realize that there’s probably 12 old ladies that I passed on the freeway just today who will gladly send $100 dollars in hopes of having access to $1,000,000 when JOHNCREEK dies of cancer, AIDS, pneumonia, bird flu and/or meningitis. “I’m doing the right thing and it’s a good investment,” they’ll think.
It’s the gullible old ladies who are the problem–if they didn’t fall for the scams I wouldn’t have to deal with the spam. That’s the chant, the rallying cry. It even rhymes. Philanthropy my ass, am I right?
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