balderdash
Here’s something fun: Balderdash, the game that allows you to see exactly how crazy you and your friends are. Here’s a synopsis: One player reads a word from a card. The word is almost always something sufficiently obscure that no one has ever heard it. It is, however, always a real word. Then everyone writes down a fake definition and the player who gave the word reads all of the definitions supplied by the other players along with the real definition. When the laughter subsides, everyone tries to figure out which definition was the real one. Points are awarded based on your guessing the right definition and the other players guessing your fake definitions. You are rewarded for coming up with realistic definitions.
We usually play another way, which I’m happy to see was included in the Wikipedia article:
One variation of the game consists of the players submitting hilarious and outrageous definitions. No points are awarded, and the winner is determined by who garnered the most laughs throughout the course of the game. The addition of beer or other intoxicatables enhances the game considerably. The game comes to a conclusion when everyone is too drunk to continue.
We award points, but no one usually cares about that. The goal is to make up the craziest, grossest, most offensive, or hilarious things that you can think of. We’ve done a fine job of that. I saved most of the sheets from about five years of Balderdash. I figure they’ll go a long way to helping justify an insanity plea if ever I’m faced with that dilemma. Until then, however, I guess I’ll post some of the best ones here from time to time.
We play a newer version called Beyond Balderdash where “words” isn’t the only category. Movies, people, dates and initials make the game more varied. I’ll explain by example. The following are all taken from my box o’ Balderdash. Keep in mind that the actual answers to these (which I won’t trouble you with) are sometimes a little wacky, but for the most part are perfectly reasonable. The fake ones posted here are definitely not.
word: bobabza
potential definition: When you are about to duck under a branch but you don’t quite make it
word: pogonotomy
potential definition: the study of words where every other letter is O
movie: “5,000 Fingers of Dr. T”
potential synopsis: A mad scientist collects fingers in an attempt to build a weapon completely from fingers. Unfortunately, a thumb spoils the plan.
movie: “Car Trouble”
potential synopsis: A movie that spells “trouble” as T-R-O-U-B-L-E rather than T-R-U-B-B-L-E.
person: L. Berto Oloto
the reason he might be famous: Invented digestion in 1632
another reason he might be famous: Was almost named after the word “bottle.”
initials: D.W.A
what they allegedly stand for: Donkeys With Attitude
initials: A.S.S.B.
what they allegedly stand for: Anonymous Society of Second Bananas
what they allegedly stand for: Another Shitty Sequence, Bitch
what they allegedly stand for: The dysleksik spelling of a particular type of fish [A coup: the author of this fake response gave a definition rather than what the letters stand for. Whether this was on purpose or a result of intoxication in this case will never be known. The misspelling of the word “dyslexic” is classic, though.]
date: March 5th, 1988
something that might have happened on this date: Abraham Lincoln forgot the “Gettysberg Address” at the White House and had to go back to get it.
something that might have happened on this date: Little Dave Stefani invented wetting the bed. [Dave Stefani was one of our friends who was playing in the game.]
There you go. It took some work to choose and transcribe these, so I hope it’s worth reading. I’d hate for this to be one of those “you had to be there” things, though I’m beginning to think it might. If you’re not finding this amusing at all, go have between six and eleven beers and come back to try again.
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