|
Alcohol tastes so much better on Christmas Eve. I capitalized that for you true believers.
But seriously: Have a holiday to you and yours, yo.
At least I posted something this week. Look for more regular updates in 2006.
Peace!
Chicago Sun-Times: Southwest pilot violated braking policy
The Southwest Airlines pilot at the helm during Thursday’s snowy crash at Midway Airport told federal investigators he used the Boeing 737’s “autobrakes,” a device airline officials say their pilots are told not to activate.
“Here’s a special feature of your airplane. DON’T USE IT!” The people who installed autobrakes on those airplanes are the same people who manufacture cars that go 150 miles per hour. Sadists.
When the plane skidded off the runway a six-year-old boy was killed. The lawyer for the boy’s family had this to say:
“It’s a really weird violation of Southwest policy. . . . Maybe he was a sharp pilot, and he decided to use the technology,” said Ron Stearney Jr., an attorney representing the Woods family.
He sounds like a tortbot to me. I imagine the tone in his voice when he made the above comment to be sort of smart-alecky and full of mirth. “The pilot violated company policies, leading to the death of a young boy whose parents demand financial justice? Why that is curious,” he might say.
Also note his use of the word “technology.” Does anyone really talk like that unless he or she is already mentally writing an opening statement?
And it’s worth mentioning that the advertisement on the page is for United Airlines, which is a little tasteless. It’s not showing up right now, but the box where it should be is a link that you can click.
Record Online: Police whack giant snow penis [with photo]
The headline doesn’t say it all in this case, but it says enough to make me smile.
Sherer, um, erected the statue with her boyfriend and another friend Sunday. She said she was surprised to hear some neighbors took offense.
Motorists honked their approval, and people walking by pointed and laughed, she said.
“People were waving and laughing,” she said. “It was pretty funny.”
Dateline: New Windsor, a town where motorists honk at giant snow dicks. Seems like a nice place to visit.
[via Dave Barry]
I should have posted this long ago, but I didn’t. If you ever find yourself wondering where all the funny comics have gone (or if they ever existed in the first place), find the answer in the Perry Bible Fellowship. It’s so goddamned funny that it actually hurts at times.
I hate “LOL,” by the way. Thought you should know.
