Weblog Sin Pies

By Charley Daniels

When I think about having to clean my Ikea brand garlic press I get homicidal. If you think that’s wrong, I don’t know what to tell you except it is not wrong. You’re the one who’s wrong. Unless you meant “wrong” as in “amoral” or “unethical,” in which case you’re probably right, but who knows? Lawyers, I guess.

But the real issue here is complicated utensils. Or rather, cheap complicated utensils that SUCK! Why do we need them? Or better yet, why don’t we stick to traditional methods of preparing garlic? Or the best question of all: Since toilets are the opposite of pants, which came first? Think about that one, why don’t you. It’s a real chicken-and-egg scenario, that one is.

Whatever the answer — and we may never know — one thing is certain: In the world of Ikea brand garlic presses, pants, and toilets, holding it and keeping it clean are the ties that bind.