Weblog Sin Pies

By Trevor Ryan

I’ve been thinking about getting another degree recently. Mostly, I think, this is in reaction to the low, low prices offered on Internet college degrees, but it’s also because I saw it on TV. These are my two most trusty companions for reasoning.

But let me explain. Actually, the low price thing explains itself. Who wants to pay top dollar for a degree, when he can get one for $30? I mean, that’s less than most items at the average college bookstore. Why get a sweatshirt for $40 that says “Harvard” when you can fork over $30, and get a full four years worth of education?

But besides that, I can’t help but be reminded of the Scarecrow, from “The Wizard of Oz,” who upon receiving a piece of paper suddenly had memorized the Pythagorean theorem (among, we are to assume, other fun and useful information). Based on this, it seems reasonable to me that the Internet (which is far more advanced today than it was in 1939, when “The Wizard of Oz” came out) should provide a piece of paper that is a good deal more intelligent.

Now I have to wonder how much time and money I squandered back in college. Why, I could be a veritable encyclopedia by now. The other thing I wonder about these bargain-basement priced degrees is if they contain a full four years worth of partying in them. It’s sort of like the worm in a tequila bottle, I guess, and the myth about how it contains mescaline, or a bunch of alcohol. “Dude, did you ever try smoking your degree? I heard it gets you totally wasted.” “Yeah, man, but I heard there’s some bad, like all-night study session shit going around …”

Anyway, stay in school, kids. Otherwise, you have to pay back your student loans.

Related Link: Online Degree Online Degree Programs and Online College Degrees - eLearners.com