pee-n-poo bandit stole only innocence
You have to admire the sacrifice and dedication of 45-year-old Gary Moody, who is willing to swim in shit just so he could get a glimpse of some ass. Moody, quite possibly the sickest man who ever lived, hid inside the business end of a women’s porta-potty so he could witness the relieving of bowels from up close. Dedication, I tell you.
The co-worker who directed me to this tidbit claims that Moody’s story is proof that there is no God. That’s if you needed more proof, I suppose, but maybe he’s right. It’s an interesting case for an “all of God’s creatures” type of assessment. “All of God’s creatures, even those who are so messed up and/or desperate to see some hoohaw that they are willing to literally be shit and pissed upon by multiple random people in an outhouse by the highway.”
That’s the Kancamagas Highway, in case you want to add the stop on your notorious places road trip. “Peed at the outhouse where Gary Moody had the craziest idea ever. Check.”
The article makes sure to let us know that the tank of the outhouse absolutely brimming with human waste. Right in the lede: it was “filled with human waste.”
The plot thickens in the follow-up story when Moody, asked for a good reason why he was inside a toilet, came up with a doozy:
In court documents, police reported that Moody insisted he was not doing anything wrong and had gone into the sewage tank to retrieve a wedding ring he had accidentally dropped while changing clothes.
Well, there goes his insanity plea. Or maybe he’s shoring up a case for an insanity plea. Tough to tell. In any case, what type of wedding ring is valuable enough to swim in shit? Of course, Moody may have made things worse for himself because of what resulted from his alibi:
Police said they examined the sewage and did not find a wedding ring.
“Needle in a haystack” has nothing on “wedding ring in an outhouse.”
Rupert wrote:
I made some great word “puns” using the themes of your post. Enjoy these hilarious comments!!
I guess the guy couldn’t think of anything else better to “doo.”
Maybe the man thought he “turd” something down there. (Like heard.. but turd)
The man is looking for a way to get his record “wiped clean.”
This guy won’t be able to commit any more crimes with this one on his “crap sheet” (like RAP sheet, but I added a C to make it CRAP sheet).
Hey! This guy was just looking for a way to PISS AWAY an afternoon!
Geez Louise! I’ve heard of being DUMPED ON, but this guy takes it to the LIMIT!
Now that this guy got caught, hopefully this type of peeping tom will become an ENDANGERED FECES!
I think I’m tapped out.
GIT R DUN!
Please feel free to copy these hilarious comments and forward them in an email to all your friends.
Posted on 31-May-06 at 8:44 pm | Permalink
Robert wrote:
You owe me a dollar.
Posted on 03-Jun-06 at 1:44 am | Permalink
Dennis wrote:
I heard the guy did it so he could LOG an entry about it in his DIARRHEA. But he was a real DINGLEBERRY. He was just a little SQUIRT, but he had a big CHIP on his shoulder. The cops have been doing their DOOTY to try to ELIMINATE this sort of behavior. They rarely LOAF when it’s time to put the SQUEEZE on an outhouse perv. I have this message for the cops: What brave and noble MEN YOU ARE. Unfortunately, these types of crimes are only NUMBER TWO on their priority list. They also have drug abusers they must PINCH. But when they do get a lead on the outhouse perv, they WASTE no time sending out the SQUAT team. They really aim to TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS and TORPEDO crimes of this nature.
Posted on 16-Jul-06 at 4:56 pm | Permalink
Weblog Sin Pies » best of 2006 keyword referrals, the finale wrote:
[…] The Urban Dictionary has a definition for “poo bandit” that I was unaware of when I wrote this post’s title, which partially comprises the words. Interesting how close I came to the real definition. Pretty close, for a pure coincidence. And here I thought “poo bandit” was just a funny phrase I made up. […]
Posted on 29-Dec-06 at 12:23 pm | Permalink
Bill wrote:
This website is very nice and colorful too. Its nice to have something to show others where you attend church and to show all the smiling people filled of the goodness of the Lord. You have a wonderful website here. May God rich bless you always.
Posted on 17-Jun-07 at 3:46 am | Permalink