Weblog Sin Pies

By Charley Daniels

We don’t usually talk much about what goes on in our day-to-day lives because we’re afraid no one cares. Maybe that’s a mistake. Things are going to be different around this place. Maybe. Here’s a start, anyway: Some of the Weblog Sin Pies team and all but our most loyal readers went camping this weekend. It was totally kick ass! My only regret is that we couldn’t stay longer. GODDAMNED REGULAR-LENGTH WEEKENDS. At least we have photos to remember the good times. For example, the one in this post of Alex, opening some beans like a real mountain man. Well, almost.

Speaking of good times, let’s get on with the madness:

Religion: Infallible my ass. Apparently, the Pope’s aides are too afraid to tell him when he messes up.

Good reading: Don’t you love when people have to admit they screwed up? What about when newspapers have to cop to it?

WWW: I guess Craigslist works. Okay, maybe I’ll give it a try.

Celeb: That bastion of relevant journalism In Touch Weekly paid Getty Images well over $300,000 for photos of Anna Nicole Smith and her recently deceased son that were taken the day before his untimely demise, according to Defamer. How much could I get for my camp photos?

There’s probably a bunch more going on out there, but there’s no time … Wait, yes there is because this is News and Aaahs for September 18!

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Finally, a government agency that’s interested in the separation of church and state. And you thought the IRS was just a bunch of money-grubbing yes-men who couldn’t spot corruption if it was whizzing all over them.

The IRS is investigating whether All Saints Episcopal Church violated the federal tax code when its former rector, Rev. George F. Regas, delivered an anti-war sermon on the eve of the last presidential election.

That religious leader is anti-war? RED FLAG. Go get ‘em IRS, and tell them Uncle Sam said, “Pay up you God-fearing liberal hippy scum!”

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Though it sounds suspicious that our military leaders want to test their arsenal on U.S. citizens before using the weapons in places far and wide, I personally approve of the idea — even as a citizen who is never more than one bad vehicular encounter away from being on the business end of a hostage negotiation.

By “business end” I mean I’m the guy getting hit in the face with rubber bullets. In case that wasn’t clear.

‘If we’re not willing to use it here against our fellow citizens, then we should not be willing to use it in a wartime situation,’ said [Airforce Secretary Michael] Wynne. ‘(Because) if I hit somebody with a nonlethal weapon and they claim that it injured them in a way that was not intended, I think that I would be vilified in the world press.’

Wait a minute. I take it back. This is an awful idea and an even worse potential trend. Next it could be, “What will other countries say if I set their orphanages on fire and can’t tell them I’d do the same to orphanages in my own country? What a PR nightmare!”

It sounded so good until they started talking.

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I know In Touch Weekly doesn’t claim to be a relevant voice in journalism. Or wait … does it?

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Some rich lady is the first female space tourist. How exciting! Especially when things go wrong:

The world’s first female tourist to the international space station, accompanied by a Russian cosmonaut and American astronaut, headed Monday for the orbiting lab, where a malfunction in an oxygen generator prompted the crew to don protective gear.

I’ll lay even money that they were just messing with her.