Weblog Sin Pies

By Charley Daniels

Idea: new reality competition television program! It’s a race, like NASCAR, with cars and a track. But wait; there’s more! Each car is operated by a team of four people, instead of the usual (and, let’s admit it, BOR-ing) one person. Each of the four team members will have a vital role to play in ensuring a smooth race. One will operate the pedals, and another will operate the steering wheel. At this point it seems there’s nothing left for the other two to do. That’s because I haven’t finished explaining things yet. The people operating the vehicle will be blindfolded and will each have a partner. The partners will be able to see, obviously, and will be giving directions to their blindfolded teammates. Imagine all the yelling! The object of the show is to prove that your “friends” are usually your worst enemies and your biggest hindrance.

Hey, speaking of hindrances, did it rain in LA today for, like, five minutes, or what? What’s the deal with that?

If you don’t read Dinosaur Comics you’re pretty much dead to me. The same is true of The Perry Bible Fellowship.

Katie Couric is rocking it gravitas-style over at the “CBS Evening News.” Who’d a thunk it? CBS. Duh.

Don’t touch that dial, though. Cuz this is News and Aaahs for Oct. 1!

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Did you hear about that coup in Thailand? Everyone’s talking about it. But none is more excited than the “smile, it’s contagious” crowd. Turns out this government overthrow was of the friendly variety:

Thailand’s new junta is trying to soften its image, using a former beauty queen to make announcements, assigning female troops to help keep the peace in Bangkok and telling its soldiers to smile.

I told you military incursions don’t have to be all testosterone and frowns.

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A gym membership is like a rent-a-laziness detector.

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I’d like to present WSP’s first-ever Sneaky Motherfucker Award. The lucky winner is Sen. Bill Frist, R-Tenn., for his essentially successful effort to make online gambling illegal.

AMERICA’s $6 billion (£3.2 billion) internet gambling industry is facing meltdown after the US Senate pushed through a Bill at the weekend outlawing the processing of bets by banks and credit companies.

…

Bill Frist, the Republican leader in the Senate, got the measure through by attaching it to an unrelated Bill that enhances port security.

Thank you for saving me from myself, fearless leaders! The rest of congress will receive the WSP Agree to Anything as Long as It Means We’re Done for the Night Award.

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Speaking of being done for the night, do you ever get really tired, and coffee just won’t do it? Red Bull is for pansies and college kids, right? If you’re nodding vigorously right now, you need to have some cocaine!

It’s a drink that contains nearly three times the caffeine as a cup of coffee, is supposed to have a ‘throat-numbing’ ingredient and is billed by its maker as a ‘legal alternative’ to the unlawful drug that carries the same name.

Sounds delicious!

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Take a step toward fulfilling your dreams this week, but whatever that involves, don’t invite this guy to your party unuless it’s BYOB. You get me?