Weblog Sin Pies

By Charley Daniels

“Where have all the cowboys, I mean blog posts, gone?”

–Me

Time for a Weblog Sin Pies overhaul. This will be more of a psychological disassemble/reassemble than a technical one (although I do see Wordpress v. 2.3 is available). My writerly sensibilities [pause for laughter] took a vacation some time ago, and with them everything that made me want to continue living [pause for laughter].

Okay, that’s melodramatic, but I am having trouble writing lately, and I can’t settle on a specific reason, so let’s just say I’m working on some changes. When I figure out what that means, I’ll … well, I’ll make the changes. I won’t tell you about it because who gives a shit? Am I right?

A few weeks ago I was contacted by a reporter for Fox News who was looking into the phenomenon of debt management companies that use religion as a way to recruit financially irresponsible folks who are partial to the Lord. The reporter came across an article I wrote for The Outside World and reposted here about my adventures with Christian Debt Management spam. She was particularly interested in one thing that I wrote:

So I sent them an e-mail (info@christiandebtmanagement.com) and asked them what their program involved. “Accept Jesus into your heart, say the Lord’s Prayer, and cut up your credit cards” seemed like reasonable advice to hope for, if only because I’m a pureblood cynic. Instead I got the cold shoulder. Divine disregard. Could it be that I wasn’t vague enough about my intentions?

She wanted to interview me for an article she was writing. Okay, great, but why? I’m just some dude who got spammed. My perspective isn’t unique. And that’s confirmed, because it turns out she hadn’t read thoroughly and thought the quote I made up actually was the company’s response. Wouldn’t that have been great?

That was that. She was very nice, said she enjoyed my little missive, and I didn’t appear in print for the Fair ‘n’ Balanced web presence. The amount of hate mail and negative comments on this site would have quadrupled for at least a few days. Fun! What do you call the opposite of a target audience?

Point is, that reporter made me realize it’s been a long time since I’ve written anything substantial that I was really proud of, that could trick (ostensible) journalists into thinking I actually have something important to say. It’s time to bring the glory days back, because making shit up and sounding journalistic is what I was put on these interwebs to do.

So bear with me while I shuffle some internal stuff around, and one day soon Weblog Sin Pies will finally be a one-stop shop for made-up shit that sounds like it could be real and for real shit that sounds like it was made up. And for other things as well.