x-mas wishes, an open letter
I woke up on Black Friday ™ with a food hangover. This morning I decided that you can get a hangover from anything that causes you to awake the next day and proclaim you’ll never do it again (you surely will eventually do it again, but at that moment when you promise yourself you’ll never do it, you really mean it). “I’ll never over-eat again. Never! NEVER!” But alas, Christmas is coming, and we typically enjoy a meal on par with Thanksgiving during that holiday too, so despite my convictions, it will likely be just over a month before I break my promise.
So I woke up this Black Friday thinking about never over-eating again, and also about today, the Biggest Shopping Day of the Year ™, and I realized something was nagging at me other than my decision last night to have the pecan pie too. I started thinking about gifts.
In my family we’ve always been first-rate gift givers. Presents! What could be better than presents? You know the old saying: “Giving is fun, receiving divine.” We’re so good at gift-giving in my family that it made us quite adept at receiving. It’s inevitable, really. We grew up with parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles who never got it wrong — we were showered with awesome presents every Christmas. It was hard for us as little ones not to fall victim to the allure of it all as December approached. The excitement, hoping, wanting, maybe even a little expecting. Luckily, in addition to cool new stuff, there are often valuable lessons that come out of this tradition.
I mean, remember that year when Nick tried to get the other kids in the neighborhood to organize, union style? Local 101 of the Regent Drive Unwrappers. That year he learned labor movements require more of a give-and-take, a “scratch mine and I’ll scratch yours.” Life lessons, inspired by gifts. Maybe that was a dream.
Either way, we’ve had a ton of fun with gifts, it’s true. But at some point us older kids (I’m pushing 30, people!) no longer need that, you know? At some point this time of year became for me more about friends and family than lists and ribbon. That’s a good thing. After all, I don’t need anything. No one I know is left truly lacking. Not that need is what the tradition is about. It’s about fun and giving and expressing appreciation and love, and it’s about everyone being happy and healthy and together. I get that. But presents are a byproduct of that spirit that I can do without. What this time of year is really about is the stuff you can’t put in a box and decorate with a bow.
And I know a few of you who will still probably want to do something nice for me this holiday season. I’m very familiar with this part of the tradition. All the adults say, “No presents for each other; just get presents for the kids.” But there’s a problem with that rule: It never works. Inevitably, come Christmas, we all have to do one of these: “For me? You weren’t supposed to do that. We agreed!” (Even though you also broke the rule at least five or six times yourself.) It’s always been this way, but the fact that there aren’t really a lot of kids anymore doesn’t help. I mean, there are a few — some might even say enough — but the few gift-age children in our family are not enough to justify the desire to buy a palette of wrapping paper from Costco with the intention of using it all. So when no little ones fill the gaps left by those who have grown, you just keep buying everyone gifts, despite agreements otherwise.
So here’s what you do. I don’t want you to buy me a gift or spend any money on me this year. I said it. On the record. But if you’re still planning to give me something this holiday season, I’d rather you donate to a cause that will really make a difference, to an organization that could use a gift far more than I can. I’ve selected three worthy nonprofits dedicated to various causes for you to choose from to make a donation (in my name or yours, it doesn’t matter). Or if you already have a favorite of your own, donate extra this year. Whatever you like. Here are my recommendations, with a little description and links to the websites of the organizations so you can check them out:
Dedicated to representing and serving local communities and creating opportunities for every American to participate in and appreciate all forms of the arts. [donate here]
Supports cancer research and public education relating to the prevention, early diagnosis, better treatments, and ultimately, a cure for cancer. [donate here]
A development method for software that harnesses the power of distributed peer review and transparency of process. The promise of open source is better quality, higher reliability, more flexibility, lower cost, and an end to predatory vendor lock-in. [donate here]
This is the second-best Christmas gift you can give me, the extra mile if you feel the need. The best gift is the one you already give me all year long: being my family and friends. You’re the people I can count on through good times and bad, to be there if I need you, and to never, ever, forget that my birthday is Jan. 3 and that I love gummi candy and cash, and, in fact, my favorite color is green.
Have an amazing holiday season everyone!
Love,
Charley
photo: MotherPie
