Weblog Sin Pies

By Charley Daniels

My friend Dan over at Slowly Going Bald has compiled a list of truths about John McCain that are definitely worth a look:

He has his suits hand-made by “the last trustworthy Indian.”

This could be a fun game.

I’ll admit, I don’t know as much as I probably should about either candidate to make an informed decision come November, but I’ll get on that soon. Not because I haven’t decided who to vote for — because I need to be able to argue intelligently with people leading up to the election. It’s terrible to try to argue in favor of a candidate when you have nothing tangible to contribute except “he has charisma” or “you can tell he represents change.”

Because that stuff, really, is just a bunch of bullshit. That’s the type of stuff the candidates would like you to talk about, because it takes the focus off of things that matter, which most politicians try to avoid lest they be labeled too liberal or too conservative or mama’s boys or whatever.

We don’t get much help from the mainstream media, and I don’t know why we still complain about that. We’re like abused spouses who keep going back only to get whipped in the face with stories of missing lapel pins and who’s too black or too white. “They tell me they have exclusive coverage. I believe them!”

But McCain hasn’t raised many waves that I’ve heard about (again, not paying too much attention). I think that’s because he’s too busy napping to be controversial. There was that one thing:

But even that’s mostly forgivable, as I once grudgingly noted.

And when I say “hasn’t raised many waves,” I’m of course talking about inane stuff that shouldn’t matter but always seems to. Things like whether he once wore a funny outfit that Hollywood wouldn’t hesitate to throw on a Hispanic actor and have him portray an Islamic terrorist.

Of course, the things that don’t make the evening news are the candidates’ stances on various issues, which will be far more important in our daily lives than whether a candidate is so old or what his middle name is. Or whether he looks like a weird, pale frog in a suit. For example.

So I better get studying! At the end of the month I’ll be in Oregon for about 10 days or so, and only three of those will be spent in the blue part, if you catch my drift. What’s McCain’s middle name, again?