brad pitt and his relationship to ‘bastards’
So Brad Pitt is cast in Inglorious Bastards, the latest Quentin Tarantino movie. Can you even wait? I thought not.
I wrote the headline on the linked story: “Brad Pitt, Simon Pegg hang with Bastards.” But the first version of the story, earlier today, was just about the Brad Pitt casting, and I had some trouble writing that headline. I actually started with “Brad Pitt to take on Bastards” as the hed, but I realized immediately after I wrote it that there was a problem. Namely, it was a little too cute with regard to Mr. Pitt’s current family status, what with his being stepdad to a bunch of orphans and everything. It sounded a lot like I was making fun of him and/or those kids.
“A bunch more Bastards in the Pitt house”
“It’s as if Brad Pitt collects Bastards”
“Some lucky Bastards live with Brad Pitt
“Pitt loves dem Bastards, obviously”
Variety went with “Brad Pitt is officially a Bastard,” which seems jerky but is actually a little less offensive than pointing out that his kids don’t have biological fathers. And Variety did take some creative license (the film is called Inglorious Bastards. Plural. Meaning someone on their copy desk at some point today had to say, “Close enough,” just so they could be cute).
So I changed that original hed to something more innocuous, and in doing that realized I’ve reached a point in my career where I’m worried what Brad Pitt thinks of the headlines I write, which is totally terrible. Trying to avoid a publicist backlash should be the last thing that concerns me. Maybe it’s time to throw in the towel, raise the white flag, and other surrender metaphors too. I don’t want to be in a place where I avoid what could have been a pretty funny, subtle joke (even if it was accidental) just so I don’t have to deal with … what? A publicist calling to demand a hed change? I still can’t quite pinpoint what my hesitation was, but here we are.
So in the spirit of my wussy rewrite, let’s have some Brad Pitt Bastards headlines in the comments. Let me know what I really should have done.
JT wrote:
“a bastard-ly brad pitt”
“pitt adding to brood of bastards”
“pitt does the bastards”
“angie storms out on pitt-tarantino bastards”
“in a pitt of bastards”
“bastards get pitt going”
“pitt picks bastards this time”
ok i think i like that last one the best.
oh but i love that you wrote they “don’t have biological fathers.” when’s the last time there were so many immaculate conceptions in one decade?
Posted on 07-Aug-08 at 11:39 pm | Permalink
charley wrote:
when’s the last time there were so many immaculate conceptions in one decade?
Back when I was in college, heyo! High fives, dudes? (no idea what this means, actually)
Isn’t that what people say, though? Of course it’s not literal; everyone has a biological father, obviously, but I would say I don’t have a biological father, because I’ve never met him. In other words, I’m just some bastard.
Posted on 07-Aug-08 at 11:44 pm | Permalink
Robert wrote:
I got some!
“Brad Pitt cast in Tarantino’s next movie”
“Pitt cast in Tarantino movie”
“B. Pitty in Pulp Fiction 2″
I guess I didn’t understand the rules.
Posted on 08-Aug-08 at 8:20 am | Permalink
charley wrote:
There are no rules!
“Brad Pitt to act in movie”
“Actor cast in movie”
“Movie coming along, castingwise”
Posted on 08-Aug-08 at 8:47 am | Permalink
jt wrote:
i think you need not worry about the ingloriousness of your headline tendencies:
Los Angeles (E! Online) - Who knew Brad Pitt would turn out to be such a Bastard? (Besides Jennifer Aniston, that is.)
Posted on 08-Aug-08 at 11:09 am | Permalink
Robert wrote:
“Series of still photos played back at high speed to feature man walking around, talking.”
Posted on 08-Aug-08 at 11:15 am | Permalink
charley wrote:
But people expect that from E Online. I’d like to think we’re catering to a totally different audience. Plus I applied for a job at E and they wouldn’t hire me, so they’re dead to me.
Posted on 08-Aug-08 at 11:31 am | Permalink
Sarah wrote:
“Simon Pegg is a More Awesome Bastard Than Brad Pitt!”
I’m not good at headlines.
Posted on 08-Aug-08 at 1:27 pm | Permalink
Dan wrote:
“Bastards” gets a Pitt stain
Posted on 08-Aug-08 at 4:14 pm | Permalink
Kiala wrote:
“Everyone’s a Bastard Nowadays”
I just like to say “nowadays”.
Posted on 10-Aug-08 at 10:08 am | Permalink
Isabelle wrote:
“Pitt leaves Aniston for Jolie, Bastards involved. Then real kid, check DNA if unbelievable. Then one more Bastard. Couple more real kids. Full house. Nanny needed.”
Posted on 11-Aug-08 at 9:39 am | Permalink
Kiala wrote:
“But not Jude Law’s Nanny.”
Posted on 11-Aug-08 at 6:23 pm | Permalink
Brian wrote:
Pitt is a Glorious Bastard. Pegg, not so much.
Posted on 12-Aug-08 at 5:00 am | Permalink
charley wrote:
And the winner is …
Isabelle! Out of all the submitters, she’s the only one I share a bed with, if you know what I mean (we’re roommates who don’t have much money).
But she can easily take second if someone comes in with a really good one. (A really good other bed, I mean.)
Posted on 12-Aug-08 at 11:53 am | Permalink