Weblog Sin Pies

By Charley Daniels

My last post was an August Fools joke! I got you so good.

Moving on.

This conversation just happened while Isabelle and I were watching gymnastics:

Isabelle: Did he just say “full tootsie double back?”

Charley: No, “full twisting double back.”

Isabelle: No, “tootsie.”

[pause]

Charley: Which makes more sense?

Okay, maybe I should address that August Fools joke that you all fell so hard for. As with all good lies, the way I made it work was that I made myself believe it for a couple days. See? I told myself that I was, in fact, going to give up drinking completely until Sept. 11. But inside my mind there was this hidden place where I keep things that even I don’t want to know. In there a voice said, “Actually, that’s not true, but let’s go with this for a while.” And thus the best ever Weblog Sin Pies August Fools joke was perpetrated. I hope you liked it!

Look, the problem with giving up drinking completely for one month is it’s not nearly as fun and delicious as not giving up drinking. Do you know what I mean? For example, I’m fairly certain that if it weren’t for Ketel One, I wouldn’t have come home at 4 a.m. Saturday morning covered in sand, the result of a tumble I took at the beach while trying to put my pants back on. I mean, these are the stories that we partially remember for most of the rest of our late 20s and early 30s, so I owe it to myself to keep that going. Don’t I?

And in case you’re wondering, the much more reasonable part of me has agreed to the “only drinking on the weekend and during public speaking” plan, which I think is far more realistic and also very healthy of me. Everything in moderation, people. Everything.