I’m working on a new short film. Here’s what I have:
-fade in-
INT. SOCCER-MOM VEHICLE – DAY
Sally: Hey Judy! Let’s bring all of our fucking kids to California Pizza Kitchen for dinner on Tuesday since our husbands will both be busy, having taken up some hobby in order to get away from us and our mewling spawn for one blessed night!
Judy: That sounds great! I’ve got an idea! Let’s invite Nina and Debbie and have them bring all of their fucking kids too!
Sally: Yes!
-fade out-
That’s all so far. It’s semi-autobiographical.
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Reuters: Ants eat away woman’s eye in hospital
The patient recovering from a post-surgery infection shrieked for help as the ants attacked her on Sunday night, but nurses told her it was normal to feel pain from the infection.
Pain is normal, sure, but is this:
On Monday, the patient’s family saw a gaping hole with swarming ants in it when they lifted the bandage on her left eye.
Yeah, that’s easily one of the worst things I have ever heard. I wish the article was more detailed. What type of ants were they? What were they doing anywhere near the lady’s eye? What about the hospital? They had a surprisingly unsurprised reaction:
“It’s not uncommon for ants to attack diabetic patients,” hospital superintendent A. Adhikary said.
Not uncommon? Holy hell that’s a weird thing to say. If that’s damage control, it’s the wrong track. I’d feel better if authorities were baffled. And even if they’re not baffled, “it happens” is no excuse to let people’s eyes get eaten.
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News Inferno: Did Politics Play a Part in the Morning-After Pill Decision?
Just one part. The other parts were played by alcohol, a lack of inhibition, a loss of standards, overwhelming regret, and shame that will last at least a year.
But seriously, why would politics ever play a part in anything that has to do with sex? That makes no sense! Silly news article.
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