Weblog Sin Pies

By Charley Daniels

I am on the road, people. The holidays and helping try to find a missing person! AIEEEEEE! Fun. You know what I mean?

So December updates have been (and will continue to be) light and tidy in size, though their entertainment value will be no less robust than usual. I swear it.

That said, check out some of the search strings that people used to stumble upon Weblog Sin Pies this year. Click here for vol. 1.

Some cynics have suggested that I am merely reposting active keywords to draw more search engine traffic. First of all, eff all y’all cynics. Yeah. Second, none of these is a high-traffic referral. In fact, I don’t think more than one person was referred for any given search string that I’m posting. Many are likely from the same sick individual, in fact. So while you enjoy these actual search strings you can do so knowing that it is not some shameless way to draw traffic to the site. If I wanted to do that, I would talk about things that are in top five referrals, such as balderdash words, that Screech sex video, or maybe even feedees. Aren’t keyword referrals interesting? The answer: Yes.

>i have never lost in thumb wrestling

Neither have I. I don’t think you want any of this.

>shaving your privates with fusion

I really don’t recommend this. I don’t even recommend it for your face.

>dentist “ask for a refund”

If you’re in doubt about whether you should, the answer is almost certainly yes.

>psychological insecurity

Some referrals are completely unwarranted, but if you’re curious about this particular topic, you’re probably in the right place.

>funny captions for secret angel

And here’s one where the searcher was directed to the wrong place.

>the mating habits of a yeti

Hey, yeah! Now I’m curious. Thanks, weirdo Google user!

If you think that’s all of the awesome keywords that directed readers to Weblog Sin Pies in 2006, you’re probably one of those people who believes that the “oh face” guy is the funniest thing about the movie Office Space. In other words, you’re so wrong. Stay tuned!

By Trevor Ryan

Write this down. Wait … no don’t. Ok, write some of it down, then tear it up and mix the letters around. Now play scrabble with the letters. You now have a homemade scrabble set. I just saved you like … $20. But wait … LAWSUIT. Now you’re out $50K in legal fees. But you sell the book rights. Then the movie rights. You’re famous! But I sue you, cause this was MY idea. Now I own you, and I make you give me all your money and each night say “Trevor Ryan is a nice guy. He’s so smart and good looking, I want to be just like him when I grow up, but I’m a stinky butt with no friends, and I like to wear my mom’s dresses when she’s not home.” Then I play a tape of you saying it in front of the whole school. Or … a whole school, anyway, because you’re not in school anymore.

All this, cause you wanted to play scrabble for free! Well, I guess I could at least give you a Z to complete the set.

See you in court,
Trevor

Here’s something fun: Balderdash, the game that allows you to see exactly how crazy you and your friends are. Here’s a synopsis: One player reads a word from a card. The word is almost always something sufficiently obscure that no one has ever heard it. It is, however, always a real word. Then everyone writes down a fake definition and the player who gave the word reads all of the definitions supplied by the other players along with the real definition. When the laughter subsides, everyone tries to figure out which definition was the real one. Points are awarded based on your guessing the right definition and the other players guessing your fake definitions. You are rewarded for coming up with realistic definitions.

We usually play another way, which I’m happy to see was included in the Wikipedia article:

(Continued)