Weblog Sin Pies

By Charley Daniels

I played in the World Poker Tour Celebrity Invitational Saturday and wrote about it for Hollywood Reporter’s Past Deadline blog here.

That little post doesn’t go into much detail about my personal experience at the tournament. I was planning to do more of writeup for this site at some point in the not-too-distant future. “Planning.”

Here’s the short version:

I hung out at the same party, pulling hors devours from the same trays, as some celebrities like Don Cheadle, Jennifer Tilly, James Woods, the guy who played “Donkey Lips” in Nickelodeon’s Salute Your Shorts, Corey Feldman, Montel Williams. The list goes on. More importantly, I was drinking beer delivered by the same cocktail servers as those drunk by poker players like Erick Lindgren, Gavin Smith, Amnon Filippi, Antonio Esfandiari, Daniel Alaei. The list goes on. Yes, me. Charley Daniels from Grants Pass, Orygun. Rubbing elbows, etc. I made eye contact with Norm Macdonald.

It was a cool night. My table was a little boring on the celebrity front. Best we could do was former Miss USA Shandi something-or-other (apparently she’s best known for her stint on Dancing With the Stars) and Andrew Firestone, who sat right next to me and said he was there because he was on “some reality show.” The topic came up because I asked him if he hangs at the Peet’s on Larchmont. He doesn’t. I see a lookalike there sometimes. Very nice guy. Firestone, not the guy who looks like him. Well, maybe that guy’s nice. I don’t know him like I now know Andy F. And I don’t judge him even though he was not only on The Bachelor, he was The Bachelor — or one of them at least. As Isabelle puts it, he was the only normal bachelor. That makes sense. In an Isabelle sort of way.

Bit of poker talk below the fold (this is my new way of saying “after the jump.” It’s newspaper jargon, even though “news” isn’t even on the list of things this site knows the definition of).

(Continued)

By Charley Daniels

CNN: Jamie Lynn Spears pregnancy raises legal questions

Yes, she’s pregnant, she’s 16, her boyfriend is 18, and there’s a bunch of hubbub. Depending on where they got down, it could be illegal. Blah blah blah, who cares. What’s really at issue is the unfortunate choice of phrasing used by the law professor whom CNN interviewed:

“You have a disturbing disparity in how these laws are enforced,” said Jonathan Turley, a law professor at George Washington University. “I have no problem at all with nailing adults who sleep with children, but I have a problem with the prosecution of teenagers in consensual relationships.”

You get ‘em, Turley!

By Charley Daniels

By Charley Daniels

Happy Friday, ya’ll! These are some important things I thought about during work today:

In the kitchen: Can someone tell me what a honey dipper does that can’t be accomplished with a spoon, fork, knife, or another utensil that you already have that is useful for multiple purposes?

On the street: This blog post on Wired.com about Apple violating California law is interesting, but mostly because it made me realize how stupid the laws are. From the post:

Under CA law, products that expose consumers to the phthalates found in the iPhone and iPod cords are required to be accompanied by a warning.

Okay, yeah. I live in California, and I see those warnings everywhere: “Products used or sold on these premises may contain chemicals known to the state of California to make your legs fall off and kill your favorite uncle*.” But who pays attention to that? In Los Angeles, if you avoided places that had those signs, you couldn’t go anywhere. You probably couldn’t even go home. The result? For better or worse, we’ve stopped paying attention. We’re very, very warned. We don’t care.

Fanboy: Sarah, who sits two cubicles over from me, is on the phone with Jason Lee right now. If I were to run over and grab the phone so I could tell him how awesome he is, I’d probably be fired. Essay topic: Would I be able to collect unemployment for losing my job under those circumstances?

Jason Lee, Jason Scott Lee, Jennifer Jason Leigh: Three actors who should definitely be in a movie or TV show together, or they should at least go out for coffee sometime.

By Charley Daniels

Wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve posted one of these bad boys. Not since Nov. 29. I was 26 back then! Bear with me while I get it back on track. I’m out of practice!

Hey, did anybody notice that sometimes when our political leaders are speaking it seems like, you know, kinda like they’re not being completely sincere? It’s a little embarassing for me to bring it up, but it feels like our elected officials are mostly self-centered liars. Oh, don’t feel weird about my generalizing — I’m half representative. Yeah, on my mom’s side.

Shop talk: Some have suggested I change the name of this feature, which is usually just a bunch of interesting links with my commentary attached. Maybe I could call it “Interesting Links With My Commentary Attached.” Or maybe it’s just fine how it is, thanks.

TV: Did you watch the documentary that Steve Irwin was working on when he was killed? Yeah, me neither. Lots of people did, though. Curiosity or voyeurosity? (I needed a word that sort of sounded like “curiosity” but meant something like “voyeurism.”)

More TV: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip is a pretty great show. I always know a something I’m watching is good when it makes me want get into something new — writing sketch comedy for TV, in this case. Or like how the movie Critters just makes you want to go out and do that.

Film: Hey, the Oscar nominations are in! And in a surprising twist, the much-lauded Dreamgirls was ZZZZZZZZ …

Hey kids, you know how you like to make that shampoo mohawk while you’re in the bath? Then you get out and go look in the mirror, and it’s so awesome to see your hair like that! But your mom gets mad and says, “Your feet are wet you bastard! Get your skinny ass back in the tub!” Then she won’t even let you get that haircut. Well, don’t worry. When you grow up your hair can be like that whenever you want. Trust me.

Shop talk: I was just kidding, no one cares what I call this thing.

But hey, maybe you do and you just haven’t opened your mouth about it. If that’s the case, KEEP IT CLOSED, because this is News and Aaahs for Jan. 24!

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Barack Obama? Okay, let’s just clear this up right here, right now: It’s Obama NOT Osama. Little too close for some people, probably, but at least he’s a man.

Ha ha! That’s a terrible joke. Mostly because if Republican strategists see this it might give them ideas about how to discredit Obama some more. I can see it now. [cue daydream effects and music]

Dateline: Middle America

Obama a Black Muslim Pre-Op Transsexual Smoker Who Wants to Raise Taxes?

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Hey, you’re Time’s person the year; did you know? Sure it’s late notice, but I’m always looking for something to celebrate. And celebrate we should, unless you’re a member of Chrysler’s advertising team. God I love it when a plan …

What’s the exact bizarro opposite of “comes together”?

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The ASPCA should investigate Barbie. You see that look on her face?

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Thanks YesButNoButYes for introducing the world to Homeless Frank:

My mama should be President. She could beat the shit out of anybody. Use to throw shoes at me. Knocked a tooth out. She’s dead now. Still be a better President anyway.

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And how about a hilarious video:

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You may have noticed that some of these links were a little, uh, old. But in the grand scheme of things you’re the one who’s old, not this stuff. Just remember that, sir.