Weblog Sin Pies

By Charley Daniels

Someone was talking about Christmas truces the other day. I apologize for not remembering who it was. At the time, I thought, “Wow, that’s a really great story.” And I meant that, although I must admit I was a bit skeptical about how true it was.

I mean, soldiers from opposing sides in a war go from killing each other on Dec. 24 to singing carols and giving each other presents on Dec. 25 and then back to killing each other on Dec. 26. It sounds like a movie plot that you would find ridiculous. And it ends sadly, true, but that middle bit is the part we should try to focus on and maybe even emulate — and not just on Dec. 25.

The link above mostly verifies the truce story, and that makes me happy. Granted, it’s from Wikipedia, so you never know, but the references seem legit. Aside from that, I’m going to just go ahead and believe it. I’m going to have a little faith this x-mas eve day. And thanks to Cardhouse for reminding me to read about that.

Probably won’t be much posting from me for the rest of the year, but you all have my permission to make it the greatest week of 2007. In fact, I order you to go out with a bang. I predict that 2008 will be the best year of my life, and I hope you’re similarly optimistic. If you’re not, I hope 2008 proves you wrong, because if every year isn’t better than the last, what the hell are we trying to do here?

By Charley Daniels

Big doings for the Saturday of a holiday weekend. For starters, U.S. shoppers responded sharply to my anti-gift diatribe by spending all sorts of money on Black Friday. Bloomberg says:

U.S. consumers spent $10.3 billion on holiday purchases yesterday, an 8.3 percent increase from last year, after retailers promoted electronics and toys to woo shoppers.

They don’t mention me in the lede, but the implication is there. I like how they attribute the increased sales to wooing. As if retailers never promoted things for Black Fridays past. “Those crafty devils — who knew promoting would work?” Or is it the specific things they’re promoting that are seemingly the cause? “Toys and electronics, that’s what the people want.” Either way, good work team. I’m happy to report I bought nothing but a coffee yesterday, but not out of protest or anything like that. I just didn’t want to go anywhere.

Also, Malibu is burning again. The West side smells like fire. More than usual, I mean.

We bought Rock Band today. Played Guitar Hero? Played Karaoke Revolution? This is the marriage, with a drum set thrown in. Neighbors, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry.

By Charley Daniels

I woke up on Black Friday ™ with a food hangover. This morning I decided that you can get a hangover from anything that causes you to awake the next day and proclaim you’ll never do it again (you surely will eventually do it again, but at that moment when you promise yourself you’ll never do it, you really mean it). “I’ll never over-eat again. Never! NEVER!” But alas, Christmas is coming, and we typically enjoy a meal on par with Thanksgiving during that holiday too, so despite my convictions, it will likely be just over a month before I break my promise.

So I woke up this Black Friday thinking about never over-eating again, and also about today, the Biggest Shopping Day of the Year ™, and I realized something was nagging at me other than my decision last night to have the pecan pie too. I started thinking about gifts.

In my family we’ve always been first-rate gift givers. Presents! What could be better than presents? You know the old saying: “Giving is fun, receiving divine.” We’re so good at gift-giving in my family that it made us quite adept at receiving. It’s inevitable, really. We grew up with parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles who never got it wrong — we were showered with awesome presents every Christmas. It was hard for us as little ones not to fall victim to the allure of it all as December approached. The excitement, hoping, wanting, maybe even a little expecting. Luckily, in addition to cool new stuff, there are often valuable lessons that come out of this tradition.

I mean, remember that year when Nick tried to get the other kids in the neighborhood to organize, union style? Local 101 of the Regent Drive Unwrappers. That year he learned labor movements require more of a give-and-take, a “scratch mine and I’ll scratch yours.” Life lessons, inspired by gifts. Maybe that was a dream.

(Continued)

By Charley Daniels

It’s almost 9:30 p.m., and I just now finished my work for the day. Sort of. I really should do more, but there’s a six pack and a couch calling my name from the living room (well, the six pack is in the refrigerator, like nature intended). My eyes are blurry, and I’ve lost the ability to type.

Tomorrow should be fun. It better be. I’m cooking the turkey. For some reason Isabelle keeps reminding me that, as if I’m going to forget, or as if I’m agreeing to do it now but planning to change my mind at the last second. If I mention anything about the dinner tomorrow she adds, “You’re cooking the turkey.”

Me: Think we’ll have enough places to sit?

Her: No, but people will figure it out. No big deal. But you’re cooking the turkey.

She really doesn’t want to deal with that turkey. I’ve felt that way before. But tomorrow is a new day.

Speaking of, have a great day tomorrow! More importantly, enjoy the next four days, if you’re one of the lucky ones that don’t have work to do! I don’t have much, so heyo!

By Charley Daniels

I realized today that it’s the time of year once again for me to roll out my joke about the day after Thanksgiving being the busiest day of the year for shopping AND for the sewage-treatment industry. That’s it, basically. That’s the joke.

I’ll let you digest it for a second.

Hey, are you in the mood for something that’s actually funny? If the answer is yes (and I can’t believe it wouldn’t be) you should check out these fake Craigslist postings from Kasper Hauser. This is the part where you tell me those are old and blah blah blah, but they’re still funny, and now they are also more numerous. Enjoy. (Via John Hodgman.)

Also in the “actually funny” department comes New Stereotypes. Like the name implies, it’s stereotypes re-imagined. They’re so much funnier than actual stereotypes. (Thanks Kiala.)

Sometimes you might notice that the ad above the header just says, “Your ad here.” If that’s the case, don’t worry. I have other sources of income.