Weblog Sin Pies

By Charley Daniels

At some point during my painfully optimistic formative years as a writer, I crafted an essay about election reform that suggested taking a cue from the animal kingdom. The basic gist of the article was:

Whoever kicks the most ass is in charge.

I believe that’s a direct quote. Yes, I was a real Hemingway. This was right around the time one of my writing professors remarked to a class full of people that “Charley is like Dave Barry, only more sarcastic.” It was a technical writing course, and the teacher did not mean this as a compliment.

Anyway, I was reminded of the election essay yesterday when Mike sent me this video:

Direct link

My ideas about how to pick a president were crap compared with this method. Whoever kicks the most ass? That’s not a reliable selection criterion. It’s whoever can get his or her ass kicked and still make sound executive decisions — that’s who should be in charge. Ball-kicking tolerance is an even better litmus.

Basically: Iron crotch for president in 2008!

The guys in that video even resemble our candidates in some ways. Look at that last contestant — the one on the end. He’s like Fred Thompson: not sure whether to enter the race at all. Except, if the election involved a smack in the nards, we might sympathize with him instead of suspecting he’s skirting campaign law.

Of course, you might think Hillary would be a lock if we elected the leader of the free world based on who could take the most crotch punishment, but I’d wager Mitt Romney can take a real beating down there. Interpret that any way you choose.

By Mike Bijon

I’m not even sure where to start with this one:

I know where to end, though: I need to complain less when things go wrong.

By Charley Daniels

My friend Robert came over and watched So You Think You Can Dance, which inspired him to write about ways to make the show better:

Imagine this - the entire dancefloor has hidden danger spots. If one or both of the dancers happen to step on this spot, one of many ‘dangers’ can happen to them! Some ideas: springboard, flames, sandbags drop from ceiling, tiger gets released, super bright strobe light turns on, floor starts shaking, etc.

That would be better! His post inspired me to make a poll at BuzzDash:

What will this post inspire you to do?

By Charley Daniels

This guy totally pulls an Isabelle:

(Continued)

By Charley Daniels

You should always get at least a second opinion (a third, fourth, and fifth if you can) when you’re choosing a name for your new business or other venture or, say, when you’re registering your new TV station’s call letters. Just for example.