Feeling better today than I did yesterday. That’s mostly because today’s a new day, and it will be free from workplace injustice and/or shenanigans. First question I’ll ask future potential employers: “At what level of shenanigans does your business operate in a typical week? Mmm hm. And around the holidays?”
I don’t generally like button-fly pants, but there are definitely some pluses.
Today is Jaxon’s birthday; we’re going to feed him some booze and make him tap dance. He probably won’t, though. Some birthday.
At the publication where I work, I think we use too many semicolons. Someone smart once said that people overuse the word “irony,” which is definitely true. That person said that usually what people mean is “coincidence” or “unlucky” and that real irony is harder to come by. I’m paraphrasing and maybe even embellishing, but I think I’ve pretty accurately represented what was said.
Anyway, semicolons are the same way: Where they’re actually needed, I think, is harder to come by than you would guess based on our usage. Will I say or do anything? No, because there are so many things that are more important. But I’ll still think about it, and I’ll notice it; I just won’t care. I used two semicolons in this blog post. I used them properly, though neither was necessary, and I’m not sure either did much for the meaning, readability, or quality of the post. See what I mean?
Remember how I said today was going to be better? I should just stop making predictions. Remember when I said there’s no way the dot-com bubble would burst (and I put “burst” in air quotes)? Remember when I told my brother that he could fly if he just got a start from a high-enough place and then flapped really hard? And then a year later, when I told him that if he strapped enough bottle rockets to his wheelchair he could jump over the vat of glass at the recycling center? So much for predictions!
Today wasn’t better, is all I’m saying.
And remember when I said that the Daily Show writers rule before I even saw what the Colbert Report writers had to offer?
Well, the Daily Show writers still rule, so I’m not so bad. Many people can rule. And now that I think about it, maybe my brother just wasn’t using enough bottle rockets. Back to the drawing board on that one.
Man, work has been radical this month! Radically sucky! In most workplaces, having a short week is a blessing — everyone’s in a good mood, so they treat each other better, and the weekend comes faster and lasts longer. Win win win.
However, my full-time job right now is at a weekly paper that publishes 51 weeks out of the year. Maybe it’s 50. Point is, we usually have five work days to put together something resembling a newspaper. We go to press Tuesday night and start in on the next issue Wednesday morning. But as soon as you start taking work days away, it gets complicated. We have to move up deadlines that are already tight. We have to do the work of five days in four or, as in the case of next week, three. Tempers rise. Shouting and blaming leads to stabbing and death — with words and looks, I mean. Harsh words and looks.
So these cheery days aren’t always so cheerful at this point, and to top it off I’ve taken on another gig and this blasted NaBloPoMo (which I refuse to link to again because it’s an insidious, terrible custom). AND tonight No. 2 Oregon lost to an unranked Arizona, whose student body’s sole talent appeared to be making up clever zingers that fit the acronym ESPN (and holding them aloft while Oregon’s Heisman-candidate QB hobbled off the field with what for all they knew was a career-ending knee injury. Classy).
When it rains it pours, I’m afraid. Oh, and I guess I’m Mr. Cliche-A-Lot all of the sudden, which never would have happened if I didn’t fry my brain with minutiae all day.
Mondays and Tuesdays are going to be rough the rest of the month. Probably Wednesdays and Thursdays, too. And Fridays. But not as rough as Mondays and Tuesdays. It’s just, we’re coming up on awards season and so we have all these special sections to ZZzzzZZZ…
So I said I’d stage a walk-out of my own when the writers strike started, but I lied. Turns out there are some entertainment blogs that are going dark as a show of solidarity for the Writers Guild. Wish I could too, but promises to myself are more important than promises to WGA members. Plus I’ve never been big on symbolic gestures that won’t amount to much. Now, if I could walk out of my 9-to-5 gig as a show of “solidarity,” that might change things a bit. You’re right, it’s more of a 10ish-to-6ish gig, but you know what I’m saying.
Speaking of that, just over a year and a month ago I was handed a pile of blue correcting pens when I started my current day job as copy editor for a weekly entertainment trade. I don’t even like blue. I looked at that pen pile and I thought, “Why do I have to be blue?” Then I told myself — promised myself, really — that I’d be out of there before the last pen had run dry. Arbitrary, yes, but it was a gauge that seemed apt. Well, I’m down to my last pen.
Happy Friday, ya’ll! These are some important things I thought about during work today:
In the kitchen: Can someone tell me what a honey dipper does that can’t be accomplished with a spoon, fork, knife, or another utensil that you already have that is useful for multiple purposes?
Under CA law, products that expose consumers to the phthalates found in the iPhone and iPod cords are required to be accompanied by a warning.
Okay, yeah. I live in California, and I see those warnings everywhere: “Products used or sold on these premises may contain chemicals known to the state of California to make your legs fall off and kill your favorite uncle*.” But who pays attention to that? In Los Angeles, if you avoided places that had those signs, you couldn’t go anywhere. You probably couldn’t even go home. The result? For better or worse, we’ve stopped paying attention. We’re very, very warned. We don’t care.
Fanboy:Sarah, who sits two cubicles over from me, is on the phone with Jason Lee right now. If I were to run over and grab the phone so I could tell him how awesome he is, I’d probably be fired. Essay topic: Would I be able to collect unemployment for losing my job under those circumstances?
Jason Lee, Jason Scott Lee, Jennifer Jason Leigh: Three actors who should definitely be in a movie or TV show together, or they should at least go out for coffee sometime.
