Weblog Sin Pies

By Charley Daniels

Almost didn’t make it to this post, as the site was down for some reason for much of the day. Working on that. Could require some technical prowess and maybe even a bit of tinkering. But NaBloPoMo hasn’t defeated me yet! In fact, it’s inspired me.

It feels good to be inspired. Do you know what I mean? Maybe I can inspire you today.

There’s no excuse for you not to be doing exactly what you want to be doing. Well, there are excuses, but they’re just that — excuses. They’re not good excuses, the sort that let you off the hook for whatever it is you’re hoping to excuse. You hate your job, right? Well, why? Have you watched TV lately? Been to YouTube?

The thing is, you can get paid to do pretty much anything these days. It’s called reality TV. You just have to get a production company involved and anything you do can be financed by television. Hanging out. Sanding boards. Punching. Yelling. Sharpening metal. Grapes. Whatever it is, there’s a market for it.

No mainstream media companies biting? Become an internet sensation! Put on a costume and video yourself messing with people in a Wal-Mart. Or better still, video Wal-Mart customers messing with you. You could start a vlog about your cat. (Attention Luddites: A vlog is like a talkie in the silent era of blogs, you dig?)

There’s an audience out there for anything you can think of. You just have to be specific, and you just have to find them. Eventually you’ll be rich. I mean, something has to happen between conception and success, but that’s outside the scope of this analysis. Lottery, maybe?

By Charley Daniels

If you’re like most English-speakers, you have many writing and/or word questions. When that happens, you either look things up (snooze) or just think, “Hmm. That is a mystery. Oh well,” and then you go on your merry way. Neither of those is the optimal choice. For the former solution, you check some chump dictionary or other book that will lie there passively, delivering the answer but providing you with no memorable experience. I mean, do you want a reference scenario where you look something up and you’re done, where you’ve helped yourself but no one else? In the latter solution, you just sort of give up. What the hell kind of crap is that?

When you need language advice, why not come here, to Weblog Sin Pies, where I’ll not only answer [most] of your English usage-related questions in a [fairly] timely manner, but I’ll [usually] make it interesting and respond in ways that will [in some cases] help you remember the [tainted] information you’re given! Note: Please don’t make your decision about whether to seek advice from me based on my own writing. That ain’t cool.

“Who” or “whom”? Semicolon, em dash, or period? Why can’t I end a sentence with a preposition? “Ho” or “hoe”? Well, what are you waiting for? Submit questions here.

And in case I’ve already got you wondering, the answer to all of the above example questions is: It depends. Can you be more specific?

By Charley Daniels

For months I’ve tried to write at least 12 or 15 polls per day for BuzzDash. What can I say, I’m a dedicated member of the polls-as-entertainment community. You should be too.

Some days it’s tough, and I sit there staring at the wall. On those days, I often come up with questions like this:

But other days nothing happens. I stare, sometimes so hard the fire alarm goes off — or it would, if it were set to detect intense staring. And on those days, almost without fail, one word pops into my head: “dribble.” Or variations: “dribbling,” “dribbles,” etc. I don’t know why. What is my mind trying to tell me? I usually push the thought away and focus on other things, but the next time I try to come up with poll questions, it almost always returns. It’s never there during other times, even if I’m concentrating really hard. At work, when I’m having trouble recrafting sentences, it’s not there. When I’m watching Jeopardy! and the answer is stuck on the tip of my tongue, but I have to say something, anything, because it’s almost too late, I never blurt out, “DRIBBLING!” Subconsciously, I really want to write a question about dribbling, I guess. I mean, what else could it be? So I did:

Granted, there’s nothing really special about this question, but I’m hoping it cures me of this distracting affliction. So far so good.

By Charley Daniels

One of the casualties of working all the time and being paid for it is that the little things that maybe don’t help pay the bills kind of fall off the top of the to-do list. It isn’t that I’m not dedicated to Sin Pies, it’s just that I haven’t the time or energy to put together worthwhile posts. I assure you this hiatus is temporary, though.

If BuzzDash weren’t so fun to work on, my life would be a lot more difficult right now. As it is, I’m neglecting my hobbyish activities in favor of something that’s fun and happens to be work. Not a bad deal. Speaking of, here’s a little something from the site, for your voting pleasure:

I know at least one of you (counting me) is going to wonder where the “It doesn’t matter so long as it’s pouring into my mouth” option is. You should pretend this is Heaven, where you get to choose whatever type of beer you want from this list I’ve provided. See, look at all these choices. And feel free to print that in your fancy publications, too. “BuzzDash: Sort of like Heaven.”

By Charley Daniels

Here’s an example of what you can do with BuzzDash:

Isabelle thinks that you’re asking for a major haunting if you answer this question. But in taking that stance, isn’t she basically saying she believes in ghosts (and thus answering the question)? She must subscribe to the idea that ghosts can haunt you only if you believe in them, and also that they get online to figure out who believes in them. Like Pulse (et. al). Welcome to BuzzDash, ghosts! Tell your friends.